half way to 70--woot woot!!!

Im not sure how i couldn't come up with a more optimistic title for this occasion, because i really wasnt very happy about turning 35. i always tell people i still feel 25. oh well, denial is a good thing in this case. and i couldnt help but be so happy on my birthday with all the kindness that was shown.

what's to complain about?  i got a wonderful card from a wonderful friend, goodies and flowers from friends, and went on a shopping outing to the outlets with my little ashlee.

i also had the choice experience of being embarrassed as the servers sang to me at my bday dinner out with my girls.  i'm blessed with kind and loving friends, im sorry there were some that couldnt make it, and those who have moved away were at least able to send their nice wishes to me thru texts and good ol' facebook.

i must admit being shot at with a confetti gun by my niece brianne really topped off the whole celebration week.

and in the end, all i wanted the morning of my bday was to get a picture with my kiddos.  i dont even hope for perfection anymore, the candid--funny face ones are usually my favorite now. 

brady my brady, i have not forgotten you

the boy turned 7 about a month ago. we celebrated on time, ive just been a poor blogger lately. this birthday for brady was all about lego Ninjago, heaven help me.

i think i pulled off his cake alright, he loves his black ninjago clock.

luckily brady's idols, 19 year old guys, enjoy legos too, so they stayed late after the party to help assemble.

these were his treats for his class at school. his first grade teacher commented that she had never seen those before and she's seen just about everything. haha! i didnt even need pinterest.

our little brady has always been our little lover. he's got grandma VoFo pretty much wrapped with his dimples, and grin. he loved becoming a big brother and still to this day is famous for his spontaneous hugs he gives to those he loves. i watch him and its funny, he gets this look in his eyes then he heads over and squeezes whoever he just was thinking about.

he's all boy for sure.  always been my mischief maker, in his undies, playin with bugs, being gross.

that grin, the mohawk, what's not to love?

he's grown into a very intense boy.  he plays hard, he yells quickly and so angrily but he's our softie inside. 

the day he was born we didn't know we were having our second little boy.  he has still surprised us in many ways.  the morning of this birthday jared and i stood at the back window and watched him hunt gophers in the back yard.  brady, you make us giggle and grin. we love you so much.  happy 7th to you, Turbo.

i guess i'm ok with this speedbump

so there's not a poetic or flowery way to put this, but seeing as this blog is my written record for my posterity (blah blah blah) i figured i need to journal my thoughts today. february 23, 2012 was my due date for our fifth child. we planned the pregnancy but kept it a surprise for a couple reasons. jared and i were the ones surprised when i lost the baby, 11 weeks along, on august 3 last year. all 4 previous pregnancies were problem free so this was completely new, foreign, and unexplainable to me. it all happened so fast. the loss of blood caused me to faint in the shower causing jared to call 911. i was quickly wheeled away in an ambulance, and had an emergency DNC. that all greatly added to the pure shock of the whole ordeal.

so i won't be holding my own newborn ever again, but i've had time to process it, with as much understanding that we are given in this life. i realize that we are ok with this unexpected turn. for a couple years now, since we were given a child with autism, i've felt that our plate was full and we could dodge other life challenges. well, i've been humbled and i'm grateful for the lessons learned thru raising a family. i know i have plenty more ahead of me. for now, i'm so very blessed to have a husband who is an excellent provider and more importantly a very worthy priesthood holder to lead our family. he's a good guy, he's dang cute and the kids absolutely adore him.

as for me, am i still sad? yes. i cringe when i hear an ambulance, when i stand up too fast that faint feeling comes back too quickly and clearly, and currently, seeing and holding other babies is still tough. but that bump in the road has led to other paths. i'm very lucky to have my fab 4, they need me, and i love them, so i'll focus on that and all the blessings that i'm continually allowed to enjoy.

ray ray is cinco!

i call her "booger" cause she is just my little boog. but wow she had her fifth birthday and now thinks she can conquer this life thing.

raylee requested my pasta salad for dinner so we added pizza with it and i made some ice cream cakes. as long as there was chocolates and "nem nem nems" (m&m's) she was pleased.

after we gorged she ripped into her presents. she loved them all, the big poofy owl was a hit, squinkies, zoobles and slushie magic met her demands also. speaking of demanding, she insisted that Rob (one of our adopted sons) help her assemble some of her lego stuff. not sure how she roped him into the tiara but its great.

she was most excited for her myo gift card so we redeemed that thing and got some bubble gum flavored frozen yogurt as soon as possible so i didnt have to hear about it anymore.

it seems like not that long ago i was huge and pregnant with her. 5 years goes really fast. we were so excited to add her to our happy little family. i remember cherishing all her moments since we thought she would be our final baby. she has been a hoot to raise. we love how she is so VERY independant, always amusing herself by playing with hairspray bottles. she is slightly high maintenace already, she must have a nob hill grocery bag filled with some of her toys everytime we leave the house. but she's happy, she loves preschool, she is 100% girl and we love our little ray ray.

oh yeah, that christmas thing happened

to all you die hards who had time to blog in december, good for you. i didnt and i dont care, at least the memories are getting published at some point. the kids' class parties and teacher gifts kept my head spinning and hands moving, but it was all worth it. among all the heckticness we did enjoy the church ward christmas party. the kids were in the navtivity story and jared and i sang a duet. it was a very nice nite, and our little sheep whose floppy felt ears were bouncing since he had the hiccups, got a lot of giggles.

we had to send our lincoln home to Provo, Utah to be with his real family for the holiday. it was a long 2 weeks for us. but he got us a gift, a whirly pop popcorn maker that we enjoy too much.

we had christmas festivities with the Anderson side. cookie making was a hit and very deeeelicious. unfortunately Heather was very sick so her family wasnt there with us. presents were opened, grandparents were hugged, it was lovely.

christmas morning came, the kids opened their stockings as excitedly as ever. brady was trying to sneak back to his room and while walking backwards he bonked his mouth into the cabinet, hence some pictures with him holding a wet paper towel to his fat bloody lip.

i have to admit the only thing i dont like about the mayheim of christmas day is all the assembling that is required. good thing daddys are good at that. i just keep watching their cute little faces and i dwell on that as i tune out their impatience waiting for daddy to get the screwdriver etc.

when it all settled down jared and i took a moment to be cute in our matching pajamas, then had our christmas kiss and biscuits and gravy breakfast.