so there's not a poetic or flowery way to put this, but seeing as this blog is my written record for my posterity (blah blah blah) i figured i need to journal my thoughts today. february 23, 2012 was my due date for our fifth child. we planned the pregnancy but kept it a surprise for a couple reasons. jared and i were the ones surprised when i lost the baby, 11 weeks along, on august 3 last year. all 4 previous pregnancies were problem free so this was completely new, foreign, and unexplainable to me. it all happened so fast. the loss of blood caused me to faint in the shower causing jared to call 911. i was quickly wheeled away in an ambulance, and had an emergency DNC. that all greatly added to the pure shock of the whole ordeal.